Friday 21 April 2017

Learn To Give Your Mind A Break, Before Your Mind Breaks

I am happy about the new level of attention that is being given to mental health. I think it is one of those subjects that people shy away from talking about, yet it affects so many people. 

As someone who suffered severely from Anxiety and dealt with excessive panic attacks, I know the value of having your mind in a peaceful state. I look back and I can only be grateful for the person I am today. 


I never knew I would overcome it. 


I remember feeling so alone, so misunderstood, so overly tense and just so low! The first step to recovery for me was acknowledging it for what was, and being willing to be brave enough to stand against it. 


It was hard. 


It took some time. 

It took me battling with my own mind. 

It took me battling with my own body. 

It took me being brave enough to express to my loved ones what was happening. 

I was the only one who could save me.

The mind is a very fragile place. 


But here I am today. A Victor.


Life is going to be life! Full of ups and downs, lefts and rights, things we understand and things we just can't quite put our finger on! Many of us are so used to being strong and keeping it all bottled in, that we develop a resistance to being open and offloading, which can really affect one mentally and physically. 

I now understand the importance in sometimes just crying things out or writing down how I'm feeling, whether it be through poetry or plain words.

It isn't always about having the answers or trying to seek out for them, but sometimes it's important to just get it all out. It can relieve so much pressure within and you can feel so much better. Talking is another really good way of just releasing all the tension. I know it can be tough to trust others with information, but someone somewhere cares enough about you to be a shoulder! Stop being strong all the time and learn to let go every now and again. 


Learn to give your mind a break, before your mind breaks.

Monday 15 February 2016

Check Out My New Poetry Blog - Woman In Words

Haven't I been quiet?! Im so sorry, life has a way of trying to gulp up all your time.

In the mean time Ive been busy working on a new blog that means alot to me, I will be revamping this blog soon but for now please check out my new blog.


Thank you guys x

Friday 30 January 2015

A Letter To My 14 Year Old Self

I've seen a couple bloggers do this letter to themselves at 14 and I think its a brilliant post to do, so here is mine....



Hey girl, it’s you here, writing to you about you at 14.

I want you to be attentive to all my words. I know right now, the future seems so far off, I know you see certain things as being impossible for you but trust me it gets better. You get better.

You are so kind, you care so much in fact too much for those around you, if only you had the same love you had for others for yourself you would be so much better. It’s so sad to too see how insecure you are, you lack confidence so much but it doesn't show. Every single day you rise and get on with things as if you are the happiest person alive, making all kinds of jokes with those around you and feeling accepted when they chuckle along. You don’t think you are pretty, you don’t think you will ever be pretty. You have all these emotions swimming within and no clue how to apply them properly.

Quite recently the guy you liked so much called you a horrible name to your face. A very horrible name. I saw your face, for a split second you forgot everyone was around you and something inside you died. It’s sad to see the words of others had so much internal damage. You replayed the word in your head 100s of times and every time the pain felt worse. I wish you hadn't paid attention. I wish you were confident enough to dismiss his words. I wish you knew how precious you were. Even though he said it in kid play you still took it to heart.

You care so much about being a girl a guy would like. Stop it, stop getting so uptight about boys, they will be around forever, you meet some interesting characters later so don’t sweat it babe. There are millions of guys in the world and the world you live in at the moment doesn't even represent 1% and later on you will even reach a stage where you are like ‘goodness, leave me alone guys’ lol.

You battle with accepting your beautiful dark skin . You war with yourself so much, staring in the mirror endlessly wondering when it would change. You watch MTV every day as video girls in RnB videos shook their long luscious hair and you couldn't see you ever being her. You wanted it so bad. You wanted to look like them, you wanted the lighter skin, the hair that flows in the wind. You hated the physical you. At one point you googled ways to lighten your skin. Silly silly silly girl. If only you could see you through my eyes now. Perfectly imperfect. Your skin is perfect, the spots that come and go sometimes are perfect too. You are perfect in the strangest way, with ever thing in life you must learn to see the best in yourself.

You need to stop worrying so much about silly stuff, forget the mascara you’re not allowed to wear and stop comparing yourself to other girls. Stop wishing guy’s pursued you at the same rate and stop saying things to gain peoples approval. It may sound so crazy but I know better than anybody, the very things you despise about yourself become your strengths. You hate how emotional you get and how much you care but these very traits of empathy and love aid your growth into a loving and caring young woman. Yes, there are many times where your kind nature is abused and taken advantage of but I’m telling you, the experience doesn't break you, you cry a bit but in the end you understand all of it.

The way you view the world is so funny and you have all these plans in place. You can’t wait to make your parents proud of you; you have all these business ideas and dreams. Hold on to them. Don’t allow anyone to dull your shin, because you shine so much, and ever so brightly. You are so radiant in the must humble way. (I envy you a bit).

Mum and Dad seem so strict right! Lol, I promise you the boundaries put in place help shape you later, grit your teeth. Don’t depress yourself about all the parties you can’t attend because you aren’t allowed, don’t envy the drunken nights you missed. I promise you girl, all of this adds to your character development, you learn to not depend on certain things as a means to have fun and you are able to stand later on in life, knowing your limitations don’t make you weak.

Hoovering, tidying up, the early morning general cleaning calls of Mum and Dad are driving you insane, you can’t deal but diligently get on with it because sooner or later your obedient nature is praised, you will be drawn as an example and not only that but when you leave home for a few years to study your siblings take on the baton and you are free of the dishes lol.

I know you so well. I see the bigger picture. Laugh more and allow moments of fun to last as long as you can. Don’t fear who is talking about you and stop seeking the attention of certain people to be your friend. You will laugh when you see how everyone grows and people you thought were ‘cool’ end up not being so cool anymore. You have some good friends and some bad ones, but to be honest I think they all aided your growth, you learn about trust, loyalty and dishonor through these friendships so I think they are important for your development.

You are going to lose so many friends along the way, people you are envisioning as being your brides maids won’t be there in a few years, you will draw apart naturally. Some of them when you meet up again, whether it is after years of no communication or not, you will just fall back into your friendship because what bonds you together is stronger than the curse of time.  Some friends you will see and not recognize anymore, not just physically but emotionally you just won’t be in the same space anymore. It sounds impossible that out of your pool of friends you may only really have 2 or 3 that you maintain a strong bond with but such is life girl, such is life.

You are gorgeous, I would be your friend if I wasn't you lol! God loves you so much girl and although your vision at the moment is very restricted and you can’t see what I see, hold on to hope and continue to dream big.

Love you so much




Monday 26 January 2015

I Love My White Friends...

Diversity is something I love, the fact that we all come in different shapes, colors and sizes is brilliant.
The world would be so boring if we were physical clones...

I was just having a conversation with one of my Caucasian friends who grew up around a lot of Black and Asian people and i was explaining the contrast in our experiences growing up. He learnt a lot about Africans, Jamaicans and Asians growing up so he embraced their culture. 

When i was growing up I attended a secondary school where i was practically the only chocolate malteaser around lol,  my friends would make comments that weren't intentionally ignorant but their curiousity about my race and the conclusions that they often made were funny.

I don't in anyway find any of it offensive, I look back and find it hilarious, its only natural if you havent been exposed to a mass type of person that you become curious.
So what i have done for banter purposes only is I have listed the funniest lines I've heard from my white friends when growing up...


1.You know we tan in the sun, do you go lighter in the sun?
Believe it or not this boy had a full conversation with me on this, he was as serious as serious gets and I remember wanting to laugh in his face but I simply replied 'of course, of course we do, im around your skin tone once the sun takes a hold on me' to which he replied 'I thought so' and nodded to himself in confirmation.



2.Wow, you must wake up so early to have to do your hair all over again!
I often had braids and my white friends loved it, they would be feeling and touching on it. One day my friend said 'goodness you must wake up so early to have to redo those braids'. I paused. As a laugh trickled up my throat. I nodded. I wanted to allow her to think that but then i came clean about how we keep the braids in. She looked so embarrassed. See i can hide my red face under all this melanin but for her she turned bright red and burst into a fit of laughter. 


3. Do you speak African?
 Oh dear! This one I've heard a few times. The good old 'Do you speak African' bar...no Tommy i don't speak African the same way none of us speak British. I then had to explain that Africa had different countries inside it....i'm sure he got an A in geography after my break down



4. Your hair grows so fast!
 The deception of a good weave. One day my hair looks like a hedgehog on crack the next day my hair is brushing above my behind. I'm not sure if they thought my hair grew every 2 seconds or whether they thought i had a magic cream but no. It was fake....I was feeding y'all with visual lies lol.


5. Is that your cousin? 
Funnily enough i heard this a lot, a black person would join the school and they were bound to be my cousin. I would have my friends tap me and ask if i was related to the black kid in year 10..*sigh* 'sorry to break your bubble guys but no me and Tapiwa arent long lost cousins'!


6. You are Olu suit!
You are automatically paired with one of your 'cousins', If they manage to catch me talking with another black male that was it lol.. we are getting married 'You and Olu suit',*straightface* 'honestly should i ask him to ask you out' *straightface* . It took months to shake off any chocolate pairing. I just want to be free guys....


7. I wish I had your hair
While they pulled and tugged on my braids and i closed my eyes praying my pick and drop style doesn't decided to disgrace me and fall out, they would shower me with compliments. Back then i would secretly roll my eyes because I felt it was patronizing but now I think they genuinely loved it.



8. Your skin is flawless
 With the biggest pimple on my chin however I cant lie in my school in comparison to many of the pupils my skin was something to be envious of lol


None of this is being highlighted for serious topic discussion or anything, its just funny and its all banter!
The more we interact the more we learn about each other :)

x

Wednesday 14 January 2015

For A Sweet Tooth: Chocolate Brownies Recipe

I'm such a cake person, I love a nice slice of Victoria sponge or a fruit tart so today I present you with my quick and easy recipe for Brownies!





Ingredients


  • 150g butter, melted (I put in the microwave for a little as it usually quite hard)
  • 325g of brown sugar (or more depending on your taste)
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 150g plain flour

3 eggs
  • 100g unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 75g mini chocolate chips 











Method - Serves 8-10

  1. To begin with preheat the oven to 180 C / Gas 4. Lightly grease and flour a baking tin (now this is dependent on how many you want to make)
  2. Beat butter, sugar and vanilla. Add eggs in gradually one at a time.
  3. Sift flour, cocoa, salt and baking powder and add this all to the mixture. Beat it slowly and make sure it blends together well, once its all mixed in properly add chocolate chips then mix again thoroughly
  4. Pour it into the baking tin and bake it for 20 minutes or until a skewer poked into the centre comes out clean. Don't mistake melted chocolate chip from the batter. The skewer has to have a bit of chocolate stuck to it. But if it's a lot of chocolate stuck, then it's not ready yet.
  5. Let it cool. With brownies its important to let it cool down properly so that its not too crumbly and is more soft and chewy. Slice as desired and serve with ice cream or custard or cream or whatever floats your boat!

Hope you enjoy x

Tuesday 30 December 2014

Be Careful What You Say She Is Listening...


Just another video where i highlight my concerns about the image we have built of the ideal woman. Many of us are not aware of the massive impact our words have on the girls that follow behind us.

Hope you enjoy!


Thursday 18 December 2014

Vapiano Inspired Spinach and Bacon Lardons Pasta

One of my friends introduced me to the joys that lies in a meal from Vapiano! 

I had a Spinach and King Prawn Pasta which was lush! 

                 

Ever since I went to Vapiano I've been planning my return but in the mean while I thought I'd improvise at home and make a meal inspired by my visit.

So here is a quick recipe for a Spinach and Lardons Pasta (didn't have any king prawns at home so lardons it was)! 

So here is the end result of my meal and I must say all the family throughly enjoyed it! 


                          


                          

Ingredients: 

500g Pasta (I used Fusilli pasta and I used a lot of pasta because I was cooking for the family :)..so you may need more or less...mine fed 5)


                         

Spinach (100g) 

                         


Mozzarella cheese 

                          


Philadelphia  3-4 spoons

                           


Milk (semi skimmed)  - Half a pint

                           

Bacon lardons (You can use Chicken or Prawns instead)


Sunflower Oil (4 Table Spoons)




All purpose seasoning, mixed herbs, garlic, chilli seasoning.


Bay leaves

Sea Salt






Lets start cooking...


Boil some pasta (whilst you are cooking the rest keep your eye on the pasta and drain once cooked)



First of all add 4 table spoons of an oil of your choice and a thin slice of butter into your pot, after a few seconds add the lardons in to the pot and lightly fry (ensure you stir every few seconds to avoid it sticking)



Once you can see the lardons have fried add a quarter of half a pint of milk to the pot. Allow it to cook for 2 minutes and then add spinach into the pot.



Stir the spinach in the pot for a minute or two and then add the seasoning (garlic, all purpose, thyme, chillies etc)


Add 3 tablespoons of Philadelphia to the pot and stir in gently.





Stir in well

Make sure you taste the sauce and add more seasoning if you need to.


 At this point I added a bit more milk just to liquidise the sauce a bit more


                                       Add the cooked pasta into the pot and stir in gently


At this point you may find the spinach bunches together and causes an issue with distribution. Just take a fork and separate the chunks.


Once the sauce has been stirred in well. Its time to grab the cheese! (You don't have to use Mozzarella but its my favourite!) 



Add the cheese with a splash of water too and stir in. It will become quite sticky now but keep stirring.



Taste and add more seasoning if needed



Serve with BBQ chicken drumsticks or grilled salmon



                           

Tuck in x