Life Is About Decisions.

Peter Drucker suggests that the ability to make a good decision is a skill.

The very first thing that came to my mind when I read that quotation was:

‘Can someone please define what a GOOD DECISION is? ’

Is a good decision meant to benefit the individual in some way or if need be, must their consideration for others outweigh everything?

Must the individual assess what they will gain from the end of the experience or must the reward be instant? Is a good decision based on the outcome or the journey?

These concepts that  I'm throwing out are not relevant in all decision making processes, but for example, if an individual must endure financial struggles for a while, in the hope that an investment yields fruit, was the decision good because they had faith in a potential positive outcome or does it only become a ‘good decision’ when they begin to gain interest from the investment?

Now, I am no guru but from what I can see, especially living in a western society, we have become OBSESSED with quick gratification and pleasure, nobody wants to wait or work for anything and I feel this has impacted the way we approach our decisions making. You may be thinking ‘I don’t agree’ but let me set the scene for you using food as an example. Years and years ago before the massive boom of restaurants and take away places, good food took time to cook and people wouldn’t fuss much if they knew a homemade lasagne was on the menu! but with the introduction of fast food places like McDonalds, KFC and Burger King people now know that they can satisfy their hunger immediately with a meal that will be given to them almost instantly upon purchase. This quick food boom has affected people to the point that if i go for a sit down meal where food taking time to cook is acceptable, we become fidgety and some of us complain that ‘it wasn’t quick enough!’ putting restaurant owners in the position of having to try and deliver food quicker than what is possible.
We love to satisfy a need as quick as we can, therefore when we are making a decision we may subconsciously sway towards the thing that’s going to make us feel better quicker even though it may be for a short amount of time. Things like gambling and betting all support this very thing.

Its just amazing how a small decision can affect so much in the long run, an extra 3 wings on top of my meal at KFC may develop into a habit for future purchase which may contribute to excessive eating, which then means those 3 wings matter. A girl giving her number to a guy who later becomes her abuser – does giving out the number then become a mistake?

Lets look at more commitment based decisions like marriage and starting a family. If your kids turn out well but the relationship breaks down, does the initial union of both parties remain a 'bad' decision or does the outcome of their union have the power to save the way it is looked at. We can even flip it the other way, if a couple are very much in love and have children that do not reflect the morals they were brought up with or maybe do not turn out how they would wish, does it put a strain on how successful the marriage is? These are just concepts I'm throwing out , just trying to understand at which point does it become good!

Even speaking from experience, getting into relationships or 'getting to know someone', there have been situations I have found myself in that may not have started, ended, or even ever been well! Yet I have grown so much from going through it and wouldn't change it. So does that then me we must benefit from decisions in some kind of way? Whether it be 'learning a lesson', 'physical gain', 'emotional gain' does it have to have a positive influence in the end for it to be deemed 'good'?

WHAT MAKES A GOOD DECISION!!!!!

Many say the gift of being able to make decision means we must accept the consequences.

For those of us that have the freedom to choose what we wear, eat, how far we go in education, what we say, how we think, we have to be grateful. The ability to make a decision is not a right for some.

Don’t be a slave to a concept

Don’t be a slave to media

Don’t be a slave to culture


These things can influence decision making but don’t allow them to make the ultimate choice – the answer lies in you.

It may sound like I babbled on for ages but I’ve taken one key thing from this.




I have the power to decide what i choose to accept and what I don’t; sometimes society dictates what we should think and how we should go about it!



Is making a good decision a skill? Who knows!!!!

But all I can say is: He who knows himself is a master of his own mind

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles - The Mind

You know what, I like to be real, I love cutting out all the rubbish and getting to the route of the problem, I used to be the kind of woman that would suppress so many emotions inside as a means to not come across as 'weak', I wanted to have all the answers and I just never wanted to have to admit 'Im not ok'. Life can be such a task sometimes, we all have days when we would prefer to just blend in with our beds and not have to get on with it, we have days when we questions so many things, days when we just want to give up! Its normal, like they say its OK not to be OK, what is not cool is remaining in that mindset.
Now what you will notice about me is i love talking about 'setting standards and sticking to them' Why? because it took me so long to actually look myself in the mirror and realise that I had all the right ideas, theories, I knew what to say when i was around people, I could provide solid advice but my own personal life wasn't reflecting what I put out. So I had to challenge myself, challenge my ability to see my standards through, challenge my everyday thinking.
We all have things that we wish we could change 'I wish I had bigger boobs...I wish my voice wasn't so deep....I wish I could dance like her' whatever it is, if it is not detrimental to your health, well being and if it will not add to you as a person then not only does it speak volume about where you are up there, but you are giving your so called weakness room to germinate! What then happens is you start to then see yourself as not being enough! The questions you need to then ask yourself is whose standards am I adhering to? and Why exactly am I not enough? Its all in the mind.
One thing that i personally used to do was indirectly seek the approval of others 'The people pleaser syndrome', isn't it funny how much weight we put into feeling accepted, its like we need that firm stamp of approval from others to confirm we are doing it the 'right way'. Now don't get me wrong it is important for us to feel loved and wanted, but it needs to be for the right reasons. You need to learn to approve of yourself first. You need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and speak words of affirmation to yourself. Look at that woman and acknowledge the growth, acknowledge the strength no matter how small they seem in your eyes, acknowledge your existence and apologise for every making that reflection feel less worthy than it should. Adopt a positive attitude towards your existence.
Half the time it comes down to you making a decision, decide to choose life, decide to be happy, consciouslly corrrect yourself when you undermine anything you do! There is nothing wrong with being critical but it must be on things that would benefit you if done better or looked at better.
See it like this 'the mind is a battlefield' and what you accept as truths start to become truths to you and you will start to play out your state of mind! Even if you come across as the most confident person in the room, it only takes a small amount of time for some to start noticing the cracks in your act, it would just be better to work on actually developing your confidence.
Fight a big fight against negative thinking, I don't what you may have been told growing up, what a guy may have said to you about your image, I don't know if you are battling with self-esteem issues on a daily basis but what  do know is a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step and those that are mentally prepared for the journey are more equipped for whats ahead.
Take that step, don't let anybody or anything have a negative foothold on your thinking!
Like I always say I'm not saying the journey is easy, I still fall, however you must develop the willpower to stand against it.

So if you are in a toxic relationship that isn't helping develop your mental being, if it is draining you emotionally and having you question your value -  Either demand change or take steps to get out of it! Don't give an irresponsible guy with a deadly tongue the power over you! Set the standard and let him know you will accept nothing less than to be respected!

If as a child you were bullied or went through some domestic issues that still play out in you, that still have you questioning yourself ! Allow yourself to let go, you owe yourself that much. You are killing yourself slowly by hanging on - Cry, write, sing but deal with it head on, if you need to talk to someone do it now but don't deny yourself life.

If you are in a career or if you are studying and you are not doing what best makes you shine, if you are constantly warring with yourself and know you should be doing something else! Start to pursue change, mute that voice in your head that says you cant do it, find some inner strength speak positively into your endeavours and start taking steps.

There are so many examples I can draw from but it all starts with the mind. We all must start to take note of our mental state and take steps to making changes where necessary and ill end with a quote from Stephen King 'you can, you should and if you're brave enough to start, you will' Start that journey today!

Have a lovely day :)