Be Careful What You Say She Is Listening...

http://youtu.be/sY3ZGA1pLUw

Just another video where i highlight my concerns about the image we have built of the ideal woman. Many of us are not aware of the massive impact our words have on the girls that follow behind us.

Hope you enjoy!

Vapiano Inspired Spinach and Bacon Lardons Pasta

One of my friends introduced me to the joys that lies in a meal from Vapiano! 

I had a Spinach and King Prawn Pasta which was lush! 

                 

Ever since I went to Vapiano I've been planning my return but in the mean while I thought I'd improvise at home and make a meal inspired by my visit.

So here is a quick recipe for a Spinach and Lardons Pasta (didn't have any king prawns at home so lardons it was)! 

So here is the end result of my meal and I must say all the family throughly enjoyed it! 

                          

                          

Ingredients: 

500g Pasta (I used Fusilli pasta and I used a lot of pasta because I was cooking for the family :)..so you may need more or less...mine fed 5)

                         

Spinach (100g) 

                         

Mozzarella cheese 

                          

Philadelphia  3-4 spoons

                           

Milk (semi skimmed)  - Half a pint

                           

Bacon lardons (You can use Chicken or Prawns instead)

Sunflower Oil (4 Table Spoons)

All purpose seasoning, mixed herbs, garlic, chilli seasoning.

Bay leaves

Sea Salt

Lets start cooking...

Boil some pasta (whilst you are cooking the rest keep your eye on the pasta and drain once cooked)

First of all add 4 table spoons of an oil of your choice and a thin slice of butter into your pot, after a few seconds add the lardons in to the pot and lightly fry (ensure you stir every few seconds to avoid it sticking)

Once you can see the lardons have fried add a quarter of half a pint of milk to the pot. Allow it to cook for 2 minutes and then add spinach into the pot.

Stir the spinach in the pot for a minute or two and then add the seasoning (garlic, all purpose, thyme, chillies etc)

Add 3 tablespoons of Philadelphia to the pot and stir in gently.

Stir in well

Make sure you taste the sauce and add more seasoning if you need to.

 At this point I added a bit more milk just to liquidise the sauce a bit more

                                       Add the cooked pasta into the pot and stir in gently

At this point you may find the spinach bunches together and causes an issue with distribution. Just take a fork and separate the chunks.

Once the sauce has been stirred in well. Its time to grab the cheese! (You don't have to use Mozzarella but its my favourite!) 

Add the cheese with a splash of water too and stir in. It will become quite sticky now but keep stirring.

Taste and add more seasoning if needed

Serve with BBQ chicken drumsticks or grilled salmon

                           

Tuck in x

Our Little Nandos Secret

I love myself a Nandos, obviously on card to some people it just chicken and chips but I can tell you its much more than that to us die hard Nandos fans!

Now the thing is I really do not like spice. I hate spice. I can handle a tiny bit. A very small amount. As soon as people start getting heavy handed with the chilli im not involved! Those of you that go Nandos know that they have a wide range of tongue twisting, mouth burning spicy sauces and I never participate in allowing them to smear that stuff on my chicken - No thanks! Im spicy enough as a person, don't want to overload myself with excess spice!

This is were my secret comes in - I really didn't want to continue telling people because my fear is one day they will run out and it will all by my fault. But sharing is caring and my parents brought me up to have manners so.........

If you look on the kids menu you will see.....

The Per-Tamer sauce is basically one of Gods many gifts to us humans on earth! It is a sweet BBQ flavoured sauce, it isnt spicy and they only put it on the menu for kids to enjoy...until one faithful day I tried my luck and BINGO, Peri-Tamer can be used on any meal!

So for those of you who like to push the boat out a little bit and broaden the horizons of your taste buds, next time you are in Nandos ask for Peri-tamer instead of your usual 'Hot' or 'Mango and Lime' and Thank me later!

*Also you can order grilled mushroom as a side in Nandos - but I cant lie when I ordered it to try it didn't look very appetising, it was extremely wet and not exactly the 'grilled' side I thought it would be. However don't let that deter you, it may be nicer in another area!.

Also apparently there is an Avocado starter....

x

Mummy picked a bad daddy for you. Dad isn't a 'dead beat' he is just doing him.

I was having some lunch the other day and being the super alert, all hearing person I am, I could hear the conversation the women next to me were having. Let me just set the scene for you guys, so 4 women, all mid 20s I would say, couple prams, couple shopping bags, looked like the usual mid week link up. Now one of the ladies was complaining about her sons father, she was saying he ‘doesn’t pull his weight’, ‘everything is on me’ ‘Jaden* hardly gets to see his Dad’ etc, the other girls came with the usually female condolence statements like ‘don’t worry about it’, ‘at least Jaden has you’, ‘when it comes down to it, Jaden will grow up and see his father for who he is’ etc. Now one of the Ladies added at the end of the rant ‘Nick* has always been a waste man though, and you know it Leah*, he has not got a serious bone in his body, never has had one and never will’ and the women steadily replied ‘I know’ and sighed then the conversation moved on.

Pause.

I literally paused for more than a second.

Then i started to think.

(As you do.)

Immediately i began to think about some single mums I know and others that I have come across or have heard of that are in these predicaments or similar. (You know the whole bad daddy thing and mum left to pick up the pieces scenario.)

There just seems to be a pattern in the kind of guys some of these women go for. I’m talking about those guys that from day 1 are nonchalant about life, sleep around, not consistent in the relationship, seek physical before any emotional, guys that don’t value you but rather use you to fill up time....then women complain and say things like....

Jerome isn’t pulling his weight, he doesn’t make enough time to see him, he doesn’t love me anymore, we argue a lot, there is another woman on the scene etc and it dawned on me. At some point there was a choice, an informed decision that was made and that decision was:

‘ALTHOUGH THIS MAN IS NOT FIT ENOUGH TO BE A FATHER I WILL LAY WITH HIM, GIVE BIRTH TO OUR CHILD AND I WILL PICK UP THE PIECES WHEN IT ALL CRUMBLES’, because from day 1 he has not showed me any signs to make me believe he could be a real father.

Digest.

At what point did his ‘wastemanness’ come to light to you?, before you got physical?, After?, During? When? because the matter of fact is many women know who they are laying themselves down for, its just many seem to convince themselves that he will somehow  ‘change’ or learn to change for them or for their ‘situation’ or for their child.

Newsflash 1 – You are no different to the other women that took his rubbish all the other times before and I am not saying he doesn’t have the power to change, what I am saying is that unless the divine hand of God transforms his life, you need to be prepared for him to remain the same.

Newsflash 2 - He knows that there are many women out there that are prepared to put up with what his has to offer, what you have to do is decide if that woman is you.

You now have the child and things are not different. At some point an informed decision was made that this man is good enough not only to get physical with me but to become the father of my child. Now you feel helpless and you will do anything especially if you are now deeply in love, anything to keep him sweet, anything to spark up the ‘fake’ emotional connection that you had. I hate to sound so harsh but when a man loves you, when a man sincerely wants you for you and nothing else, it is very obvious in both his interactions and his communication with you. This is why I use the term ‘fake ‘connection because if his compliments, strokes of your face, late night calls or his ‘xxx’ at the end of his messages to you are the sole cement for you thinking he is what he says he is, then you have fallen for his trap and you must carry your cross for doing so.

Many women will now cuss and abuse their children’s father in front of the child, to their own parents, to their cat, to their dog, to their friends painting this picture of man who failed to take up his responsibility but never seem to acknowledge the fact that at one point an informed decision was made. The matter of fact is you knew who you were dealing with from the get go! The part of the story where you forgot you was a queen and allowed a rouge to get the better part of you is often left out.

NEVER EVER ASSUME SOMEBODY WILL CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOU OR BECAUSE A CHILD

This again goes back to my point of ‘setting standards and living out the standards you set. You cannot huff and puff when things aren’t what you thought they would be.  All the signs were in front of you at the get go and you must be strong enough to take responsibility for your part in the unfortunate situation which is due to your lack of ability to be reasonable and assess the nature and character of this man earlier on. It is due to you putting this ‘love blind’ feeling first and because of this you have a situation in your hands, a situation which can go either way, it can get better if the man chooses to change or it could just stay the same. It could go either way.

My point is at some point in your life you will need to stop playing the blame game. Obviously my view on this isn’t applicable to everyone and there are some people who genuinely are deceived by someone they care about and were once in love with. However at the same time there are thousands of women who know from the start the kind of guy they are getting themselves involved with and at the back of their mind all the cards are laid out face forward they just choose to turn them over and hope magic takes its place. Many of you chose your ‘baby daddy’, many of you gave him that status , that privilege and you knew that he wasn’t fit enough to be the man you or your child would need. It’s a very harsh reality to come to terms with and these issues stem from many things, daddy issues, insecurities, fear of being alone etc. It is sad because there are many men who would be great fathers and great men for women but the bad ones seem to get to golden pass.

In life it’s very important to be able to assess situations thoroughly putting aside emotions, and learning to be critical with one’s self. Stop moaning, it is done, child is here and the one thing that child needs is your undivided love and care. If the guy doesn’t want to pull his weight, there isn’t much you can do to change that, and the future will take its own cause on him.

I’m not saying it’s acceptable to be dead beat but he knows no better – it’s like asking a horse to ride a bike and your child isn’t an experiment for him to be diving and out of their life. It is really sad because children need their parents – BOTH PARENTS and whether or not you like the Dad or not if he is willing to be present and do well by the child you are obliged to let him do so (as long as he poses no risk to the child don’t use your child as a weapon against him).

As women we need to get a grip with our value. It is becoming more and more of an issue nowadays, people comparing their lives to others ‘happily ever after’ and woman having these ‘relationship goal’ pictures to make references to whilst they cry a river and stuff their face with chocolate bars. The change starts with you and starts with you adjusting your mindset. If you already have a child and you are not with the child’s father then take the necessary steps to assure history doesn't repeat itself. Let your standards be known from the get go; don’t be scared of sounding too serious because you will only be handled the way you care yourself.

  When you buy something and its fragile it will be written in bold on the box FRAGILE HANDLE WITH CARE, they don’t put the sign inside the box because that makes the instruction useless, it’s essential to know before so that it can be handled accordingly.

If you are a woman that is yet to have a child but find yourself in a limbo situation with a worthless goat please hand in your resignation asap, come to terms with your value and stop settling for less especially whilst their isn't a child in the mix.

So life will always be life and we will get it wrong sometimes but do yourself a favour get your priorities straight and stand for no nonsense. Make sure you focus on being the best you can be for that child.

Dealing with Vitamin D Deficiency...

Believe me when I say Vitamin D Deficiency doesn't sound half as bad as it actually is! Around 4 months ago I started getting these strange symptoms and when I say my life changed, I mean it. I just wasn't myself any more, I became tired, anxious and constantly on edge.

Anyway before I tell the whole story in writing, I have recorded the whole experience in video.

Check it out and feel free to comment!

Mini Haul

I love shopping, so i am constantly out and about getting little bits and pieces, even though i know i shouldn't be!

This week just gone, i have definitely not held back in getting all these little treats for myself.

Garnier Ultimate Beauty Oil

Im always looking for products that can help contribute to having radiant and smooth skin, I had seen this in the shops for a while and I'm going to try it out and then do a review on how effective it was.

I bought this for £4.99 in Savers - they do great deals on skincare products!

Superdrug Facial Masks

I always feel so 'feminine' when i have a mask on, its just such a lady thing to do!

I have tried some of there masks before and they were quite good so im trying the Apricot Ex-foliating Self heating mask, Superdrug Spa Purifying 5 Minute Facial Sheet Mask and the Hydrating Self-Heating Mask!

Superdrug were doing an offer of 3 for 2 so i got 3 of them for £2.29!

Simple Oil Balancing Ex foliation Wash

I already use the wipe form of this face wash and its brilliant, so I thought i might as well just get the whole family together and hopefully they can work wonders as a duo!

I bought this in Savers as well for £1.99 and its the 150ml

New Look Sale - Jewellery

I love jewellery, I have more than i can wear, I just stack them up! Jewellery has the power to transform an outfit, you can go from casual to party ready with the right jewels.

I love some of New Looks jewellery and I just took major advantage of the sale and got myself a few bits.

Necklace - £3

Bracelets - £2

Rings - £5

Stud Earrings - £1

Airpure Candles

Its getting really cold now, jumpers are all out of the closet, big winter coats, hats and scarves but one thing i love to do while im indoors during the winter is light fragrant candles! I bought the Cinnamon spiced and Lavender scented candles and they smell luscious especially the cinnamon one. I think that scent just has a 'christmassy' vibe to it, so i do love having that scent in my room during the festive season!

These were so cheap - I bought them for 29p each! Yes! 29p! Bargain!!! (Don't worry i didn't just buy the two, i made sure i stocked up on a few of each one)

So for the rest of this week ill try to hide in my room so i don't keep spending money on little bits and pieces!

Have a lovely day x

Why I Left the Kim Kardashian Klub

Ok! Before anybody decides to jump down my neck, let me calm of you that may be part of the Kim Kardashian family and explain myself....

I do not hate Kim Kardashian. (hating isn't my style)  I despise certain behaviour traits that she chooses to publicly exhibit. She is a mother and a wife and I just 'feel some type of way' towards her mannerisms.

If you are a part of her 'klub', that's great :/ lol! But I would love to know and understand why, maybe there is something I'm missing 

Well i hope you enjoy my little rant :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWy2K1mjEec

Part one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIcBmxXWMp4

Part two

Why I Smile To The World But Cry Buckets When I'm Alone

Self esteem issues are real! In fact they are more real now, than they have ever been! Living in a society obsessed by Image! Image! Image!, a society where the world is at the tip of our fingers and we are being fed so much information, a society that set the standards for how to live and what to place value on, many people find them self lost and don’t know if being themselves is enough.

The big beaming smile, the overly enthusiastic laugh, the second look at his mobile phone screen when it goes off, the tears at night, the disgusted look at the image that faces you in the mirror, the constant need to criticise others.

 Low self esteem has no particular ‘symptom list’ you could be the nicest person or appear as an unpleasant person, you could appear to ooze confidence or wear low self esteem on your forehead! Sometimes it is obvious, other times its not!

Society Lies

Being a young woman I understand the pressures to just be accepted and to try to fit in! Society has moulded figures that we must emulate physically, they have taken the display of physical attributes as being ‘sexy’ and worship those who feel the need to flaunt themselves in a distasteful way. They have set standards by not setting them! We now second guess our bum sizes our chest sizes and the size of our gut and as a result implants and augmentation has become a common thing!

Daddy Issues

Many issues of low self esteem do stem from early years, so the role that your father plays or doesn't play, has an impact on you view yourself. Fathers hold the key to unlock the ‘princess mode’ inside you, they are meant to act as your first love, shower you with care, elevate you as a young female and even through their interaction with your mother and other females, they indirectly set the bar up for what is acceptable to treat a female like and what isn't. Unfortunately many men weren't/aren't emotionally available, whether they walked away from the start, were in and out of your life or where physically there but didn't play their role as they ought to, they dropped the baton at the beginning of the race. Now it is easy to sit on that theory and forever play the blame game but it isn't their entire fault sometimes, it can just be a vicious and deadly cycle! If they hadn't been taught how to or if they haven’t had it demonstrated to them in their own childhood, how would they know! Don’t get it twisted though, even with the care and love of a father; we are all susceptible to having low self esteem especially when the words being told to you at home are not reinforced in society. Its a heartbreaking thing regardless, because then what happens is the media, music videos, playground bullies start to gain ground on how a female chooses to view herself, she starts accepting the lies being fed to her, that she is to be objectified, that she is too fat, that her lips aren't plump enough, that her nose is too big, that she is too short, that she is too tall, that she isn't the right colour, that her hair isn't long enough, that her clothes aren't fashionable enough, that her eyes are too big, that her caring nature will never be highlighted or celebrated, that her nurturing side makes her weak, that her very soul isn't beautiful enough. Sad!

I used to believe their lies

I had to pause writing this, just thinking through some of the lies I accepted as truths when I was a young girl really breaks my heart. Thinking back on words uttered by immature children that played repeatedly in my head and shaped some of how I viewed myself, and I look back at that little girl and want to give her a big hug, I want to let her know she is beautiful, kind and caring the way she is and wish I could protect her from all those voices she allowed to infiltrate her soul!

These thoughts, ideas, the voices of every person that every made you feel insufficient then starts to surface in your life as you grow, especially when you are oblivious to the fact that you aren't secure. Some females over compensate and feel the need to mould themselves into a figure acceptable for every man and woman going, they are the ones that over laugh, cut and paste their bodies as they feel and then cry at night because that hole, that feeling won’t go away no matter how much they try to suppress it, no matter how many compliments they get, no matter how many likes are visible on their Instagram posts, no matter what, it’s like a trying to hide fish in a designer handbag. It will start to smell. No matter how nice the bag look, it will start to accept how you view it, hold it, present it. Other females wear insecurity like a work badge, they struggle with it and it can lead to anxiety, depression etc, just getting up in the morning for them is the biggest battle of life and although they have good days, days when the pain is a bit lighter, it all eventually hits them and the battle commences.

Relationships

Relationships are often affected greatly and I found with observation and from experience that the kind of men you pick, the manner of behaviour you accept, the way you justify things, all highlight the value you place upon yourself. This is why I love talking about ‘setting the standard and living the standard’ and because you don’t think much of yourself and you don’t value yourself, you run into these situations and you stay there because their behaviour towards you, their nonchalance, their verbal/physical abuse, their emotional blackmail indirectly reconfirms the way you treat and view yourself and it doesn't get better it gets worse! The selection of men you choice to entertain, doesn't get better it gets worse and when you meet someone decent, someone good, someone who values you. Guess what. You can’t. You can’t deal with it, you don’t understand, you can’t comprehend, ‘it can’t be true’, ‘there must be a catch’.

Breaking the cycle and learning to rebuild

There are so many things, so many situations I could draw upon and this post is as insightful for me as it could be for anyone else. We have to start rebuilding the value we place on ourselves; we have to start redefining what we choose to accept as the truth. Some of you have daughters, sister, and they will look up to you for guidance on how to deal with certain situations and if you can’t be that anchor for that female, if you can’t set the pace then the cycle continues. If you keep allowing that guy to come around and disrespect you, if you can’t embrace your figure and carry yourself in a classy yet stylish manner without being repulsive then the cycle continues. Even the boys around you, the sons, brothers, the men in your life need to see that you represent a strong woman to the fullest and you have the power to aid in redefining what us a woman accept and what we don’t.

But we all know that dealing and battling with low self esteem isn't something that can be fixed with the wave of a wand, it takes time but most importantly it takes us accepting our emotional and mental state. It takes us putting our hands up at situations we have allowed to have an impact on us direct or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally and saying enough is enough.

Getting to a better place

What I would suggest as steps forward to getting to a better place may seem a bit strange, but when I was dealing with it, it worked for me and I really hope and pray they can work for you.

Look at yourself in the mirror

This was very hard for me, not because I don’t normally look myself in the mirror on a daily basis but because I took a step to use my reflection to take a deeper look. I cried. I cried because I allowed every insecure thought to surface, I cried because I could hear the voices of school kids that may have indirectly said one thing or another to me, I cried at situations that left me feeling so broken and so upset....I allowed myself to cry. I gave myself the allowance to really listen and visualise it and then I started to forgive myself and those that may have intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the way I felt.

I find that looking at your reflection brings out something in you that only you can see, a level of vulnerability that is personal to you. This helps and if you have to do it a million times then do it!

Put pen to paper

This method or step may not be for everyone but again I have found it useful. List down every lie you have been told, and when I say lie I mean things people may have said to you, about you that have been hurtful and damaging, write down the situations and what they made you feel like. After this start to list the opposite, if you had felt or feel worthless then write in bold letters ‘I AM VALUABLE’, ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL’, ‘MY KIND HEART, MY NURTURING SPIRIT ISN'T A WEAKNESS, IT IS A STRENGTH’. Stick it up in your room, preferably somewhere you can see it every day and read it all the time. Self affirmation is such a useful thing to do especially when you can vocalise it for yourself.

Confront

Now when I say confront I don’t mean start arguments all around the place! However there may be situations that you are in now, relationship wise, with parents, siblings, friendships that have taken there toll on you and whilst all of you are alive, it can be helpful to deal with it. Talk to them, express how you feel, if you can’t do a face to face, write a letter and remember don’t make it an attack, let them know that this how ‘you feel’ not how they have intended to make you feel and depending on the dynamics of the relationship you need to let them know if you are going to continue to stand for it or whether change is required!

These are just three steps out of a million. For me my faith really pulled me through, I was able to deal with a lot of things head on and the journey wasn't lonely. I know everyone is different and people have their own views on everything but we share one common thing and that being human.

We all cry, laugh, get angry and get sad. It’s just part of our nature and it is important especially for females to feel that sense of self love because we are so powerful in our own respects and the love we are capable of bearing is second to none!

Let’s take the step to help redefine the standards that have been set. Let’s deal with the issues that hold us back from being great! Let’s start to set the pace for those coming behind us! Let’s be honest with ourselves! Let’s be caring! Let’s not see our kind natures as weakness! Let’s not see our bodies as only a means of objectification but let’s embrace our uniqueness and celebrate the diversity within womanhood!

It all starts now! Say no to low self esteem and start to take more control over your life!

Life Is About Decisions.

Peter Drucker suggests that the ability to make a good decision is a skill.

The very first thing that came to my mind when I read that quotation was:

‘Can someone please define what a GOOD DECISION is? ’

Is a good decision meant to benefit the individual in some way or if need be, must their consideration for others outweigh everything?

Must the individual assess what they will gain from the end of the experience or must the reward be instant? Is a good decision based on the outcome or the journey?

These concepts that  I'm throwing out are not relevant in all decision making processes, but for example, if an individual must endure financial struggles for a while, in the hope that an investment yields fruit, was the decision good because they had faith in a potential positive outcome or does it only become a ‘good decision’ when they begin to gain interest from the investment?

Now, I am no guru but from what I can see, especially living in a western society, we have become OBSESSED with quick gratification and pleasure, nobody wants to wait or work for anything and I feel this has impacted the way we approach our decisions making. You may be thinking ‘I don’t agree’ but let me set the scene for you using food as an example. Years and years ago before the massive boom of restaurants and take away places, good food took time to cook and people wouldn’t fuss much if they knew a homemade lasagne was on the menu! but with the introduction of fast food places like McDonalds, KFC and Burger King people now know that they can satisfy their hunger immediately with a meal that will be given to them almost instantly upon purchase. This quick food boom has affected people to the point that if i go for a sit down meal where food taking time to cook is acceptable, we become fidgety and some of us complain that ‘it wasn’t quick enough!’ putting restaurant owners in the position of having to try and deliver food quicker than what is possible.
We love to satisfy a need as quick as we can, therefore when we are making a decision we may subconsciously sway towards the thing that’s going to make us feel better quicker even though it may be for a short amount of time. Things like gambling and betting all support this very thing.

Its just amazing how a small decision can affect so much in the long run, an extra 3 wings on top of my meal at KFC may develop into a habit for future purchase which may contribute to excessive eating, which then means those 3 wings matter. A girl giving her number to a guy who later becomes her abuser – does giving out the number then become a mistake?

Lets look at more commitment based decisions like marriage and starting a family. If your kids turn out well but the relationship breaks down, does the initial union of both parties remain a 'bad' decision or does the outcome of their union have the power to save the way it is looked at. We can even flip it the other way, if a couple are very much in love and have children that do not reflect the morals they were brought up with or maybe do not turn out how they would wish, does it put a strain on how successful the marriage is? These are just concepts I'm throwing out , just trying to understand at which point does it become good!

Even speaking from experience, getting into relationships or 'getting to know someone', there have been situations I have found myself in that may not have started, ended, or even ever been well! Yet I have grown so much from going through it and wouldn't change it. So does that then me we must benefit from decisions in some kind of way? Whether it be 'learning a lesson', 'physical gain', 'emotional gain' does it have to have a positive influence in the end for it to be deemed 'good'?

WHAT MAKES A GOOD DECISION!!!!!

Many say the gift of being able to make decision means we must accept the consequences.

For those of us that have the freedom to choose what we wear, eat, how far we go in education, what we say, how we think, we have to be grateful. The ability to make a decision is not a right for some.

Don’t be a slave to a concept

Don’t be a slave to media

Don’t be a slave to culture


These things can influence decision making but don’t allow them to make the ultimate choice – the answer lies in you.

It may sound like I babbled on for ages but I’ve taken one key thing from this.




I have the power to decide what i choose to accept and what I don’t; sometimes society dictates what we should think and how we should go about it!



Is making a good decision a skill? Who knows!!!!

But all I can say is: He who knows himself is a master of his own mind